Worst Recruiter Ever

People trust me too much.

I’m logged in to my boss’ Linkedin account.

So I could go through his messages and see a lot of sad desperate 25 year olds dying to live the life that’s killing me,

but instead what I’m going to do is sift through the applicants for the Social Media Marketing Position and find a girl who I want to have sex with, and find a reason to give her an interview, because I’m a sensitive young man with a heart full of love.

How could I not do this. The marketing team consists of Me and Myself, so this person would be my direct collaborator, every day, in-person, just the two of us, together. Literally a second girlfriend.

Boss asks me: What type of person do you want to work with? I really want to say Hot Asian Girl but I can’t. It would be uncouth. 

Still, I am rigging the candidates to improve my odds. People trust me too much.