78 Comments
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Aristides's avatar

“I’m not sure if this comes across in my writing— but physically, I’m gorgeous.” This definitely comes across in your writing, because it’s the only way you’d get laid this much with your personality.

And as someone over 30, yeah, this sounds retarded and makes me laugh. 20 year old me would have been seething with jealousy, but 30s me with a wife and kids, I just pity you. Enjoy the ride when you can; I hope you find some greater meaning in your life before you burn out.

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Worst Boyfriend Ever's avatar

I never read the comments on my posts, because I’m so very sensitive, I worry it will stop me from writing, cause me to second-guess myself, abandon this whole ridiculous affair.

Last night in a fit of restlessness I re-read my most-liked post, “Katie from Hinge,” enjoying it thoroughly, and could not resist reading the comments below. I believe it’s good, and there’s nothing anyone can say to convince me otherwise.

“Aristides” writes, in response to me calling myself ‘physically gorgeous’ : “This definitely comes across in your writing, because it’s the only way you’d get laid this much with your personality.”

ZING! GOTTEM! OWNED

The reason this comment in particular irks me, besides the fact that it has 35 likes and suggests my personality is Bad, is that I know that my “personality” is mostly what gets me laid.

I’m not saying that I’m the most likable charming hilarious guy Ever, in-person, but I Know that just about every sexual encounter I’ve ever had has been willed into existence through my own meticulous planning, strategy, and thought. My acting. Girls (worth sexing) never directly ever approach me, and that’s how it is for everyone, I think.

All pussy I’ve ever slayed is a result of this torturous social routine I’ve had learn, memorize, and recite from Dating App to bedroom. Even the most basic shit like never getting visibly upset, always leading her and having a plan, being physically and emotionally present, even as she’s the most boring vapid bitch on earth, all this amounts to “Personality,” from the girl’s perspective.

And yeah, it’s not like getting pussy is the whole point of life, which you also point out in your infinite wisdom, but let’s not pretend I’m some Elliot Rogers type, one rejection away from shooting up a sorority. Every girl I’ve ever fucked has been completely in love. That’s why it all hurts so much, that I eventually have to break their heart, because I can never be satisfied.

All right, time to never read a comment again.

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Xcalibur's avatar

I mean, he was kinda telling you off, but there's also the fact that you come across as a cynical, manipulative, alpha bro. The kind of person women say are gross assholes they want nothing to do with, but in fact jump into bed with, so long as they have the right physical qualities & outward charm. I'm not saying this out of any dislike, your work is quite entertaining so far, I'll give you that -- this is just honest criticism. Besides, our culture inundates us with the idea that casual hookups are the ultimate diversion and make life fulfilling, or some such thing. I wish you well, but in the meantime, keep telling your story!

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Big Question Quizzes's avatar

Because, it is good. I’m a female feminist and I can recognize that your writing is GOOD. Keep it up. You might be destroying lives (yours and others) but, the writing is fucking good.

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tess♡'s avatar

No read my comments!! And only mine

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James's avatar

Yes they were completely in love, since you didn't bother to say you had a girlfriend you were cheating on them with? They just wanted someone to care. Wouldn't have been much more comfortable if you didn't have to lie to people to have sex?

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Singh 47's avatar

The routine part is what bored me tbh

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Mr reader's avatar

Sex doesn’t make a person happy. I’m probably more attractive than this guy and can tell you that it does make a difference. Being attractive, even with wife and kids, is important to me. The most important thing is to start a family and have many kids but superficiality isn’t bad. You definitely don’t lift him. It’s great that you have a wife and kids, it’s hard with women in today’s society. If I don’t find a real woman, I’ll marry into a religious family. If that weren’t an option, then marriage wouldn’t be feasible. Not only is every woman ran through but they don’t want to be a wife. They don’t understand the role they’re meant to play. U could get divorced tomorrow and will you be happy? No! Secular society is fucked and marriage isn’t really a thing anymore. It’s not outlandish to think that whoever your wife is, doesn’t matter, she’d probably want to sleep with me if we met. Even if she’s repulsed by the idea after reading this, in person it wouldn’t matter. The only reason she wouldn’t, is if she’s torn between what she wants and being faithful to you and actually chooses you. If you don’t ever find out, there’s no consequences. Right? Does she believe in g-d? If she’s secular and like everyone else, she’d fuck me as long as u don’t find out. Would my wife cheat? Maybe. But I can give my future wife what she wants sexually and the thought won’t occur.

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Netizen X's avatar

Aristides your avatar's face is turning green.

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L.B. Ern's avatar

Ditto that, @worstboyfriendever, in ten years you’ll get it.

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Zay Montgomery's avatar

No…

There’s just something wrong with you, bro. As someone who got laid pretty often back in my early to mid 20’s, I was never really a sociopath about it. I’m just funny, likable and look good. Having a big dick and being able to cook helps too, but also being honest about not wanting to commit to anyone is probably a bigger factor in my own personal experience.

Women like to fuck NSA too… Just have a decent shirt, smell good and don’t be a creepy weirdo. Someone you actually would want to fuck will fuck you if you’re even just baseline attractive. It’s simple shit.

Your shit however sounds like it comes from a broken and hollow space that you yourself can’t even begin to fathom. Sure, you’re getting pussy. Sure, your girlfriend is so devoid of self esteem that she tolerates that kind of shit. And that’s probably the best case scenario for you, honestly.

Unless you seek help and actually try to fix your broken shit, this is the peak, dude. There ain’t shit left to learn, bro. You’ll just keep typing this shit until eventually the few weirdos who think this is cool get bored of you or kill themselves. After which you will probably be bored of yourself and realizing that there’s literally nothing you have to look forward to or live for.

That is of course assuming any of this shit is real. If not, that’s actually way more sad.

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Giacomo's avatar

100% agree with this comment. Not getting enough love from your mom is no excuse for becoming a narcissistic sociopath. Unfortunately, he will probably need to hit rock bottom before he realizes that.

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Andrew Hastie's avatar

He's not a sociopath, he has clinical depression and anxiety and so do all the girls he's fucking. This isn't a story about him hurting women, this is a story about two sad people hurting themselves and he's either self-aware enough or knows people well enough to write good fiction so we get to enjoy it.

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Mako's avatar

You are still 5’11 and in denial 🦦

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Katherine Dee's avatar

Are you asian?

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Worst Boyfriend Ever's avatar

no

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Lirpa Strike's avatar

I had that impression all along until now

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Jonas Hummler's avatar

What is this garbage, delete this Stack and get a grip

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SomeUserName's avatar

You're reading it aren't you

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User's avatar
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Mar 1
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SomeUserName's avatar

Neither are you, dipshit

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Paolo's avatar

Waiting for you to realize Katie did it on purpose

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Incompatible Component's avatar

Now distill the lesson of that purposeful action.

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SirTophamHatt's avatar

I, too, think tattoos are trashy and stupid, and that gay is a make-believe category. We agree on so many opinions!

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Will Martin's avatar

Of course this degen rag is full of BAPists.

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Bum Ass's avatar

Does it top Craigslist black guy? No. But that’s a standard no stack can be held to. Good post👍

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Oranon's avatar

is it me or do is there some weirdly disproportionate number of women who read this stack

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PETRIXXX's avatar

LADIES!!! RIZZ ME UP NOOOOOOOOW

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Chad's avatar

According to Selena Gomez, and other geniuses, apparently, "The heart wants what it wants."

Even the idiot writing these posts would hate themselves less if they could just stop judging people.

Stop judging himself, and the people who want to fuck him.

Assuming it's a him. Fam writes like a girl wondering what it would be like to be a guy.

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James the Hun's avatar

This is terrible and awful but oh God is it compelling. In so many ways, it encapsulates everything that is wrong with the dating world nowadays -- thank fuck I got out of this insane maze before this shit became commonplace.

I would say you should change, but I don't think you will; why would you? Everything feels meaningless nowadays. Especially so for you zoomers.

The sanctimonious comments were a good laugh, too. It's weird to see people moralizing when no one cares, it's like they've gotten so used to virtue signalling for the approval of others online that they think someone who writes a stack like this will give a shit. Obviously, you don't and won't.

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Dragonbrother7's avatar

Gotta say xir, you may be the greatest stackman to exist

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The Doge Patriarch's avatar

I cannot emphasize this enough, turn to God and leave this sin in your past.

No amount of whores make you as happy as a single good woman does, trust me I lived like you in my 20s.

The fact that you're cheating and need Viagra proves you're deeply lost in lust.

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Garry Perkins's avatar

Viagra at 25 is horrifying.

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Message In A Bottle's avatar

Restacks take you to the weirdest places on here…

If some version of real life, you should probably break up with the girlfriend and move away from the coast. Take up hiking or woodworking or research something. You’ll be shit at first, but that’s better than sex addiction navel gazing and baiting people online and keeping track of all the lies holding your life up. You’ve only got one life, and it sounds like you not so privately hate it.

Anyway, taking you at your word and not subscribing, good luck I guess.

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Katie H's avatar

Read so many opinion posts on here about gender war, dating app antics, blah blah blah but nothing cuts as deep as this. Also so hilarious how it’s reached what clearly is not the target audience lmao

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Patty Cereijo's avatar

I don't believe for a second the story is real, as a story though, it's fantastic, creepy, horrid at times and fun.

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vinalla's avatar

You sound kinda creepy

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User's avatar
Comment removed
Dec 14
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vinalla's avatar

Whoa, how do you know that’s him??

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