Scamming My Audience for $30,000

Hey guys, great news!

I made $30k $40k a few nights ago, so I’m not broke any more!

Here’s how it happened:

It’s my birthday. January 5th 2026. I am now 27 years old. Alone in Tokyo. Depressed. Haven’t been able to connect with Japanese women because it’s freezing cold outside, they don’t speak English, and I’m poor. I look poor I smell poor I sound poor I am poor. But still I need love.

So I bought another prostitute. At this point I have $1700 to my name and this will cost just $200. I find her on a website. The website is “Yoasobi Heaven.” It’s very easy to use. There are hundreds of brothels in Tokyo to choose from, I chose this one because it’s nearby and they advertise their girls as “young.”

I book “Memi” — who is apparently an 18 year old with big tits, for 9:30 PM. Gave some guy my info over Whatsapp. He asked if I would like for her to show up in “cosplay” — school girl uniform, sailor moon, gym clothes, …

I asked can she show up in casual clothes, like she’s not a hooker, like she’s just a normal girl? Like no heels? The guy on the other line says “we are unable to accommodate requests for casual attire.” Okay then, gym clothes are fine.

The girl arrives in a taxi, driven by the booker. My place is on a back street in Nakano, it’s close-enough to the city but still so quiet because it’s Japan. She’s wearing a warm coat and a short skirt. She goes Oh! when she notices I am not like her usual clients.

I ignore her and focus on the bookie, who is an old Japanese man wearing a suit. I hand him 35k yen. He says the cost is 36. Fuck, I miscounted my cash, I have 500 more, can you just take that? “No.” He says to me using google translate. “I would appreciate the last 500 yen.” Sigh. The girl’s waiting in the car now. We’re standing right in front of a security camera on the ground floor outside my airbnb in the 30 degree cold. I guess I could go to an ATM and get the last 500 yen ($3 USD…) and come back… He says yes, do that, we wait here.

Okay so now I’m walking to an ATM. Phone at 3% because I can’t plan for shit. Go to the nearest Lawson. The ATM doesn’t accept my card for no reason. Cool. Aaand now my phone’s dead. Cooler. And I left 35k in the hands of that booker and prostitute who are sitting in a car outside my airbnb, on camera. Coolest!

Okay so now I’m RUNNING to find a different ATM, starting to think/fear that the old man and the young girl will just take my money and drive away if I’m out for too long. But they don’t do that, because the Japanese are an honorable race of people.

I get back and they’re still there, the man the car and the girl, i hand him the money he hands me the ass, all of this is on camera, i take her into the airbnb up the stairs to the 2nd floor so she can see my pretty nice room.

It’s a pretty nice room. Part of the reason I got this hooker in the first place is because I really liked this room and did not want to spend my time in it alone.

Finally I’m alone with my prize. She’s cute and hot but I wouldn’t call her beautiful. She’s extremely short. She can’t be taller than 4’11. Her body is as perfect as it can be for a girl who is 4’11. Big perfect real tits and an athletic healthy ass. And best of all she is plausibly 18. It’s not like I have a fetish for young girls, it’s just that usually when you buy sex like this the girl you get ends up being 5-10 years older than she was advertised and it really puts a damper on the whole thing. Young girls’ skin is smoother, her breasts more supple, there is less hell in her eyes, her hair is softer, if you think i’m a pedophile for having this preference I think you’re retarded for not seeing it.

Anyways I’m going to speed-run through the sex because I’ve written about fucking so many girls you’ve seen it all before, you know all my tricks, the reason this whole affair is even relevant to the story is because she got me sick, which caused me to OD on cough medicine, which caused me to become evil, which caused me to run a scam on my audience for $30,000.

I woke up at 5 PM the next day extremely sick. I keep getting sick in Asia, my white man immune system is not adapting to all this foreign shit, another generic fever/cold/etc, smashing headache, painful cough, weak delirious snot everywhere, too ashamed to even go out to the convenience store to buy water cause they’ll tell me to put a mask on,

MEANWHILE… my twitter account is blowing up. That story I shared last week about meeting the Japanese Sugar Mama, extorting her for $2k, and running away, now has TEN MILLION VIEWS.

(and 1.3k replies i will never read)

My account grew from 10k followers to 20k overnight. I’ve had a constant stream of DM’s from people who just found the blog and are trying to make sense of it all. Half of them say i love you half of them say kill yourself. Some of them are girls saying this is so hot please come fuck me. Some of them are guys saying you need jesus, please stop doing this. I am too overwhelmed to respond to a single one. Beautiful SF asian wants to pay me to do a call (“nothing sexual, just intrigued!”) bitch just read the blog. I want to tell all these people: bitch just read the blog. I have nothing for you, I am spread too thin, I appreciate when people reach out to say they liked the book, they like the stories but I always feel the need to respond to everybody, be everybody’s friend and the scope of this thing has grown so much I can’t do that anymore, it would take up all of my time. This headache is extremely painful. One of the girls from the Philippines just messaged me saying “I missed my period and I’m scared” — bitch what am I to do with thee? I can barely take care of myself… some crypto guy DM’s me: you should make a token bro! i would buy it! here’s a link to this site “pump.fun” where you can easily create your own coin that people can bet on—

WAIT!! That’s not a bad idea.

I’ve been getting people telling me to do this for the past year, and so far I haven’t dipped my toes in because crypto is a degenerate cesspool of scams and I don’t want to break the precious trust I’ve built up with my readers by being so painstakingly honest for so long… but there are so many new eyes on the account right now, people who want something from me but can’t be assed to take a fucking second and read the thing I’ve thrown away my life for, vultures who want to extract from a guy who’s got motion, hey this seems like the PERFECT time to launch a crypto currency!

-wait, i’m getting ahead of myself. I didn’t start having these evil thoughts until about 8 PM, after I took two doses of “Pabron Gold.”

One of the girls in my DMs who was in Tokyo but would not meet up with me told me to buy “Pabron Gold” which is apparently super-effective Japanese cough medicine. I trust the Japanese to make good products and I need all this pain in my body to go away and so I go to the nearest drugstore and buy it.

When I say I want Pabron Gold (i point to a picture on my phone) they call a lady from the back to come out and make me sign a waiver explaining why I need this. Sick! Cough! Achoo!

Sign my name. Pay like $12. Take the medicine to a McDonalds. It’s yellow powder in like 40 individual packets. I can’t read Japanese and I’m too delirious to follow instructions anyway so I trust my heart and just take two. I empty two packets of this disgusting yellow powder into two little cups of McDonalds water and wash it down with a Double Cheeseburger Ketchup Only— my childhood favorite.

it was excessive. the Pabron Gold hit me like a truck and in 20 minutes i was euphoric. i also had a coffee at that mcdonalds. i bounced to a cafe called “Doutor” where i planned to write some sad boy manifesto like i always do but then one final look at my DMs reminded me: wait… i could make some money.

i canceled my plans.

i had plans with a long time reader. i just canceled at the very last minute. i said “sorry to be a jew but i need to cancel. i cant explain rn” and opened twitter. i went into one of the groupchats i’m in where there are some “we like to make money”-guys tangentially related to crypto. i told them the quick and dirty truth: hey my account is getting a shit ton of attention rn and i want to convert it into money. i’m pretty sure if i launched a coin people would buy. im gonna use pump.fun to do it. do you guys have any advice? one of them tried to help.

i really don’t know shit about crypto, but i used to play with “memecoins” a few years ago back when my frontal lobe was less developed. for the COMPLETELY unengaged: you buy when you think number will go up and you sell when you think number will go down. it’s just gambling with extra steps. the extra steps keep a lot of normal people out, so in practice it’s a schizophrenic digital cesspool. i’ve stayed out of this cesspool for a long time… but tonight there was a ringing in my heart; now is the time for action.

i couldn’t get solana into my fucking wallet. every way i tried blocked me with “verifications” because i am a person from the US in japan without a phone number. fuck. but one of the users in that chat, “wock,” he just sent me $300 worth of solana i could invest. thank you wock. i venmo’d him $300 back so we’re even.

i created “WBE Coin” and posted it on twitter at about 9 PM japanese standard time, which is perfect, because the United States was just waking up. i had just finished another cup of matcha. more caffeine for worst boyfriend ever! i shared the post on substack and twitter, telling people they could “gamble on my future success” … which is, technically, true.

posting it on twitter felt easy but posting it on substack felt like shooting my pet dog in the face. not even because i felt i was doing something wrong, but because crypto is gay and i hate to bring it onto this precious platform. but the pablon gold told me to have no shame, have no fear, you are a man of action, just do it, do the thing, get the bag, go go go, and I listened.

then something crazy happened: people actually bought it. hundreds and then thousands of buys, sells, of “WBE Coin” within minutes of me sharing the tweet. the value of my initial $300 investment was skyrocketing. and i didn’t even know this until after the thing blew up: this site gives you “creator fees” dependent on the volume of trades people make on your coin. so this thing is blowing up on twitter, more people are finding it, more people are trading, i’m making thousands in creator fees per minute. holy shit.

i have no idea what i’m doing. i don’t know how to sell. i don’t know if i even want to sell, i have no plan. my DMs are blowing up again but now instead of concerned readers it’s all disgusting crypto insects.

“bro what are your plans with the token??” “tell me when youre gonna sell!!” “lock liquidity!” i dont even know what “liquidity” means -- i am watching the number go up on the screen losing my shit reaching out to the few people i trust who might know anything about whats going on here, they do but they can’t really help me i’m on my own, the cafe’s closing so i scurry out the door give the barista the widest happiest smile and she has no clue why, call an uber get in that bitch take it back to my airbnb.

get back to my airbnb. number still going up. if i sell now i make $30k— $12k in creator fees and $18k in WBE coin. my hands are trembling i dont know what to do. this won’t seem like a lot of money to you probably but i’ve been nearly dead-broke for the past year and a half, i bounce between 0 and ~$3k and put all my time and effort into this blog/book/online thing, i was living in a van from oct ‘24 up till a few months ago, which was partially a Bit but also was just a cheap way to see the whole country, now i’m in tokyo still living retardedly but in a slightly less unique and interesting way, sharing it all as i go, straddling the line between social media faggot and literary hero, so this $30k sitting in front of me feels like enormous, world-bending wealth. the kind of wealth that would give me something new to write about besides being broke and fucking women. the kind of wealth that would let me live in new york city for maybe half a year... the kind of wealth that might help me see that girl again... look 30k may be nothing to you but when you live every day like it’s your last, i know it’s a cliche but i mean it, 30k feels like enough to thrive on for several lifetimes.

i took one call. from one reader. he went by GM -- he wouldn’t tell me his real name and that’s fine, i don’t need to know.

this guy, at this moment, happened to be in japan too. that’s why i called him. because i wanted to get input from another human, in person, what the fuck should i do? if i sell everyone will hate me, i’ll be seen as a scammer forever, the trust i’ve built up for so long will be destroyed...

unfortunately he wasn’t close by, he was 2 hours away. he offered to take the bullet train to tokyo right now. i said no it’s fine. i just asked him what he thinks of all this. he said i don’t think you’re doing anything wrong here, man, people can buy if they want and it’s crypto, they know it’s gambling, and you’re worst boyfriend ever… it’s actually completely in-character.

he said a lot of other things about his personal life i could not focus on because i’m having a generational crash out right now and so i thanked him very much and said i’m going to hang up now. thank you thank you for the input.

back on twitter my DMs are full of crypto urchins who just found me. “make a community bro! dont let it die! keep tweeting! wanna be an investor in my project? are you on binance smart chain? dont sell dont sell! would you like marketing services saar?”

FUCK YOU ALL LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

---

one more DM appeared, from this pink squishy guy:

and here is the rationalization I finally came to:

I hate crypto and I hate you all. If I leave this thing up, promote it, shill it, entertain this whole phenomenon, over time, I will become a part of you. I will become a Crypto Guy. I will get more DMs from disgusting third worlders and less from 19 year old ovulating art hoes. I will degenerate from being a writer to being just another online salesman. My goal will shift from making more books, writing more stories, to making as much money as I can, by any means necessary. And that would put me right back where I started 18 months ago, when I was going nowhere. So fuck you all I’m selling.

Do it all in one swift motion.

Sell everything and pocket the 30k instantly.

And better... POST that I’m selling. Call it a “rugpull” which is a scary word and often refers to something illegal, but I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong. All I’ve done is simply sell my WBECoin. My initial investment of $300 is now worth $18k. The creator fees are at $12k and still rising. “Rugpull” is a concept, a story. The coin still exists and you can still buy it if you think it will increase in value. But my initial stake is no longer there. That’s the reality of the “rugpull” I performed by selling all at once.

Even more DMs. I can’t close them I don’t know why. Now way-more-than-half of them say Kill yourself. Crypto retards who didn’t know who I was 40 minutes ago and read the words “I am homeless” in my bio bought the coin and now expect me to give them a fucking refund like it’s Walmart.

Someone doxxing me as always. Someone saying “I hope your sister’s life was worth $30k.” they used her real name. shut up liam neeson... i think her life is worth maybe 20. are you open to negotiations? XD i kid i kid….

i have got to get off the internet... the PABLON GOLD, which i later learned contains caffeine in addition to all the painkillers, is finally wearing off.

it’s 3 AM. the price of WBE Coin is still going up, people are still buying, i’ve made $5k more in creator fees. i even bought back in myself... attention is the only thing that matters on the internet. even if you say “i rugpulled” -- if you saying that results in the post going more viral, the coin will keep being bought, because again, attention is the only thing that matters on the internet.

i have got to get off the internet...

there was a flight to catch in 5 hours. to manila. i shouldn’t tell you this but i will because it’s funny: i flew back to manila to grab my adderall. i left 90% of it there with a girl because i didn’t want to risk taking it into japan, and i thought i’d only be in japan for a week. i ran out of adderall and so i gotta go back to manila to grab it, because i am addicted.

i am well past delirious. i have nothing to say to anyone. i buy an uber for $179 from nakano to narita because i don’t trust myself to use the train under these conditions and get there on time. i can barely stand. there’s (i shit you not) an 18-page check in check out document for this airbnb, all in japanese, instead of translating it i throw all my trash in the same bin and leave the key in the room and pack up my shit one last time and just go. get in the uber, my driver is wearing a full suit and tie because it’s japan and japan is wonderful, take me away.

get back to manila. book a beautiful bachelor pad for 4 days at The Gramercy, which is a place i eyed jewishly the last time i was here back when i was penny pinching.

still can’t deal with anything online. find another website, “nuru massage manila,” buy another hooker. her name is jasmine. jasmine is somehow even shorter than Memi. and uglier too, because it’s the philippines. sigh. you win some you lose some. the interesting thing about jasmine, though, is that she let me cum inside her with no condom. she actually told me to do it. wtf? oh yeah i forgot, i’m a greek god in this country and you would love to single-mother my children. well have fun with that, the massage was supposed to be 80min but i came inside her in about 20 and after that obviously i whisked her away. paid just 80 USD because again, it’s the philippines.

one more thing: call angel, the one girl in this country who reads my blog, the very first person i met here back in october, my darling angel who i won’t fuck because she’s a virgin, the autistic tech worker who feels lonely because her team at work is all guys, the 4chan femcel angel who suddenly looks a lot more beautiful to me after that ugly whore, i see angel again holding my stash of adderall and hug her harder than i have hugged anyone in a long long time. take her up into the room, we lay on the bed platonically watching Ouran Host Club. my hands are in her hair. i’m cuddling with her, kissing her like she’s my girlfriend. i don’t know how she feels about me but it doesn’t really matter, i’m leaving in four days, i’m sorry, i hate to break it to you but yes, i already booked a flight, i’m moving to New York City.

***THIS POST SPONSORED BY PABLON GOLD. USE CODE “NIGGER” TO SAVE 400 YEN AT CHECKOUT AT ANY PARTICIPATING FAMILY MART! ARIGATOU AND GOODNIGHT!***