Heel Lifts
i saw a video of Ron DeSantis on twitter walking a little funny. his shoes looked weirdly empty at the ends, in the toes.
i saw a video of Ron DeSantis on twitter walking a little funny. his shoes looked weirdly empty at the ends, in the toes.
they’re called lifts. you buy them for $30 on amazon and stick them in the heel of any shoe you own and you can be 1-3 inches taller. epic male life hack.
but if it is ever discovered that you’re doing this— cheating on your height, you are deemed the most ugly stupid faking insecure pathetic loser on earth. so you can’t tell anybody and you can’t make it obvious.
i had been wearing heel lifts consistently for the past couple years. i don’t think anyone could tell.
ron desantis shares my unfortunate pathology. he knows that everything is a show, people believe what they see. and you’d rather be a 6’1 guy than a 5’11 guy. you’d rather be a little more physically persuasive, all the time. yeah it’s just an inch or two, but over time, here and there, it makes a difference, is what you tell yourself.
i don’t even know how tall Ron is supposed to be, but i get the feeling he’s like me — already pretty tall, but it’s never enough. we’re just never enough.
it started out only on special occasions — dates, bars, socially demanding settings. then it was every time i left the house. like a girl and makeup. no one ever noticed but i could feel them there, always.
then one night i was at a concert in los angeles on shrooms and the lifts were hurting my feet. i had done a lot of walking that day, feeling the lifts the whole time. the combination of the pain and the shrooms and the general who-gives-a-fuck-edness of that night compelled me to remove the lifts from my shoes and leave them in the bathroom. i went back out and within 10 minutes i was dancing/making out with some random girl, which was the whole point of going out anyway. this went on for hours and i forgot that i left the heel lifts in the bathroom. i never went back for them. i never wore them again. the end. please clap
i don’t even know how tall Ron is supposed to be, but i get the feeling he’s like me — already pretty tall, but it’s never enough. we’re just never enough.
Yeeeep. This is what these heightcels at 5'7 don't get. Even if you're around average height it isn't enough for women. In Politics, height is extremely important and is a good predictor of the next president. This is why I am hopeful Chandala Harris will lose. Because women are short
I tower over you 😈